The FIX — 4/23/14

  • Talk Like Shakespeare Day is probably not as well-known as the pirate variation, but nonetheless — forsooth, and such!
  • In music news:  the lineup for the 2014 Austin City Limits festival has been set, including Pearl Jam among its headliners, and it's taking place the first two weekends in October.  Also, the Pixies will release their first album since 1991 on the 29th of this month, but you can stream Indie City in its entirety now at the Guardian website.
  • #HappyBirthdayShakespeare was trending this morning on Twitter, of course, as well as #AlbertPujols, who hit his career 500th home run last night…with the Angels.  Blech.
  • In the Screening Room:  rumors are floating that Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg may reunite on an untitled Cold War thriller that would feature Hanks as real-life American attorney James Donovan, who was recruited by the CIA to negotiate the release of a spy-plane pilot captured by enemy combatants.  Also, NBC has released the first trailer for Crossbones, their upcoming TV project that casts John Malkovich as the legendary pirate Blackbeard.  I am not making this up.  You can see it HERE.
  • In the Gaming Guide:  The official Magic: The Gathering Facebook page is taking a look at Journey Into Nyx's tokens, while Bioware confirmed that Dragon Age: Inquisition is coming to last and current-gen consoles on October 7th, and the Batman: Arkham City DLC "Cold, Cold Heart" — starring Mr. Freeze, of course — is now available as well.
  • Finally, it's Because Of Course:  A colonoscopy patient in Virginia is suing a group of doctors for making fun of him while they thought he was asleep; a Florida man stole a bike, rode to Walmart, fell asleep, was kicked out, then rode to a Subway and fell asleep before finally being arrested; and a father-son Australian team used a six-pack of beer to defend a 90-year-old woman from a dog attack over the weekend.  Because of course they did.

Find the rest at!  'Til Thursday…

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The FIX — 4/22/14

  • It's Earth Day, and it's also the birthday(s) of actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan (48), Peter Frampton (64), and luminary Jack Nicholson (77.)
  • In music news, Kings of Leon have announced dates for their summer tour, which will kick off in St. Louis on July 31st.  Young the Giant and the Kongos will be coming along for the ride, and tickets go on sale this Friday — click HERE for more.  Elsewhere, the Nirvana indy compilation cover album In Utero: In Tribute, which was released only for Record Store Day this past weekend originally, has made its way online to Bandcamp, if you'd like to give it a listen.
  • Tweet of the Day went to Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien), who had his post-Easter priorities straight:  "Camped out at CVS so I can beat the rush for half-priced Peeps."  On Twitter, #ManchesterUnited was trending this morning (World Cup, I guess?), as well as #Boondocks after the season premiere and #EarthDay, of course.
  • In the Screening Room:  NBC is planning a massive, three-hour live special to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live on February 15th, 2015.  Ideally, the special will include cast members, guest hosts, and musical guests of past and present — rumored names on the short list include Eddie Murphy, Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, and more.  Also, if you've let Agents of SHIELD slip these past few weeks, I recommend you see Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and then watch episodes 17 and 18 — they're the best the show has done yet, and tonight's new ep will actually introduce Agent Coulson's girlfriend, the infamous cellist, on ABC at 7:00 PM.
  • In the Gaming Guide:  The final DLC pack for The Last of Us, titled "Grounded," will be out in the coming weeks and adding new maps and weapons to the multiplayer mode.  It'll be $5 outright or part of the season pass, of course, as well as included in the impending PS4 "ultimate edition" of the game.  Also, a Japanese newspaper has picked up the rumor that Capcom will announce Resident Evil 7 as a multi-plat game at E3 this year, but again, that's nothing but a rumor for now.
  • Finally, it's Because Of Course:  a Jersey woman had her dog and TV stolen on a first date, only for them to show up again in her front yard at 3:00 AM the next day; an 89-year-old Florida man shot his son-in-law (non-fatally, for the record) for changing the TV channel over the holiday weekend; and powdered alcohol could very well be the thing of the future, if the FDA approves it.  Because of course!

Anything else you missed will be at!  'Til Wednesday…

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The FIX — 4/21/14

  • Post-Easter, we have to wish a happy birthday to actor James McAvoy (35), lead singer for The Cure, Robert Smith (55), and Stooges lead singer Iggy Pop (67.)
  • In music news, Jack White has officially entered the Guiness Book of World Records for releasing the world's fastest record.  He pressed, assembled, and sold a batch of 7-inch vinyls on Record Store Day this weekend in just under four hours, breaking the 2008 record of a couple of days by a Swiss polka band.  Elsewhere, keep an eye out for releases this week from Augustana and former Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach's fifth solo album, Give 'Em Hell.
  • Tweet of the Day goes to actress Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell), who took a hard stance:  "Croutons over potato chips any day."  Trending this morning was #Coachella as the fest came to an end this weekend, along with #Easter (of course) and #MadMen after last night's final season premiere.
  • Ever wondered if some sitcom characters could REALLY afford their places?  This is a pretty good guide to confirm or deny, worked up by actual real-estate guys.  Click HERE to see how the Friends crew is totally screwed.
  • In the Screening Room:  Cap has done it again!  Captain America: The Winter Soldier held off all contenders and took in another $26 million this weekend to both put it over the $200 million mark AND keep it at #1 for the third weekend in a row, while Rio 2 held steady at #2 as well.  Heaven Is For Real debuted at #3, while Transcendence came in soft at #4, and A Haunted House 2 flopped at #5.  Also, would you believe that NBC hasn't asked Hayden Panettiere to be a part of Heroes: Reborn, considering she was the main character in the original series?  Weird.
  • In the Gaming Guide:  After last week's announcement of exile, it looks like Activision will work with Microsoft to get The Amazing Spider-Man 2 on the Xbox One…sometime.  It's coming to everything else May 2nd; still no word about the hold-up.  Also, if you have a PS Vita, I've got a reason for you to use it:  The Walking Dead season two is coming to the handheld platform this Wednesday.  Rejoice!
  • Finally, it's Because Of Course:  A Canadian pizza place (called Boston Pizza, for whatever reason) is creating a six-layer "pizza cake" that's certain to be a total mess; a homeless man in Florida was arrested outside a Walgreens for flashing customers while eating Wendy's food; and an illegal dumper in Michigan — and we're not talking about trash — has inspired a "Help Us Flush Out The Pooper" billboard.  Because of course he has.


Check out the rest at!  'Til Tuesday…

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The FIX — 4/18/14

  • Not only is it Good Friday, but it's National High Five Day!  Act accordingly.  And, wish a happy birthday to actress Melissa Joan Hart (38), Conan O'Brien (51), and stand-up comic Jeff Dunham (52.)
  • In music news, TMZ is reporting that Puddle of Mudd frontman Wes Scantlin had something of a meltdown on stage Wednesday night, going as far as to throw a mic into the audience (who were upset that he appeared to be lip-syncing) and reportedly injuring a fan in the process.  Scantlin's no stranger to insanity, so check the video HERE to make your own decision.  Elsewhere, Rolling Stone reports that several A-list male rockers turned down the opportunity to front Nirvana at the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony last week — we just don't know who, exactly — and the Foo Fighters' next album is, according to them, "almost halfway done."  Nice!
  • Tweet of the Day goes to birthday boy Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien):  "Just found out that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him look at alarming statistics about beach erosion."  Trending today would be Good Friday and Happy Easter, of course, as well as #ScandalFinale after the popular series wrapped up its season last night on ABC.
  • In the Screening Room:  Transcendence looks to be the movie of the weekend, but don't count out Heaven Is For Real or Disney's Bears documentary.  (Do feel free to count out A Haunted House 2, though…)  Also, if Mrs. Doubtfire 2 does get going (as we talked about yesterday), count former child actress Mara Wilson out — she thinks it's a bad idea and that the original story stood on its own.  Me too, Mara.  Oh, and FOX is going ahead with that reality show, I Wanna Marry "Harry!", where stupid people compete to marry someone who isn't Prince Harry because 'Merica.
  • In the Gaming Guide:  Previews for Journey Into Nyx are up on the Magic: The Gathering Facebook page right HERE.  Also, Activision confirmed yesterday that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 tie-in game is coming to basically everything on May 2nd…except the Xbox One, which is now listed as "TBD," though they won't say why.  Weird.  Finally, if you have a 3DS or a Wii U, Super Mario Bros. 3 is now on the Virtual Console, so there goes your weekend!  (Mine, too.  Don't feel too bad.)
  • Finally, it's Because Of Course:  The city Portland, Oregon will have to flush 38 million gallons of drinking water because some 19-year-old spaz decided to take a leak in the reservoir.  Also, a Florida judge had a good time at the expense of Edward Cocaine — yes, that's his real name.  Surprisingly, he was booked on drug charges…of Xanax.  And last but not least, Russia may not be fond of McDonald's at the moment, but they did just open their first Hooters…because of course.

Find the rest at, and have a great Easter weekend!  'Til Monday…

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The FIX — 4/17/14

  • Say happy birthday today to actors Sean Bean (55), Jennifer Garner (42), Rooney Mara (29), and Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan (50!)
  • In music news:  Muse fans are petitioning for a 20th anniversary concert from the band, which they'd like to see take place in Teignmouth, near London, where they formed back in 1994.  Elsewhere, Soundgarden has released an early demo version of their classic hit, "Black Hole Sun," which you can hear HERE.  Finally,  the AC/DC rumors can be put to bed — frontman Brian Johnson confirmed late yesterday that the band will be recording a new album soon, but unfortunately, it'll be without founding band member Malcom Young, who is suffering with undisclosed health issues.
  • Best Tweet of the Day goes to country star Miranda Lambert (@mirandalambert) and husband Blake Shelton, discussing the tabloids:  "@blakeshelton: Me & @mirandalambert are reading about our separation. I hope I get all the liquor in the divorce!” AND the imaginary baby?!"  Trending this morning was #Cannes2014 for the upcoming film festival and #Transcendence, which we're giving away passes to see this week.
  • In the Screening Room:  Late actor Paul Walker will get some assistance from brothers Cody and Caleb, who will stand in to help complete the scenes featuring Walker's character, Brian O'Conner, in the upcoming Fast & Furious 7.  Very, very cool.  Meanwhile, Saturday Night Live alum and Bridesmaids star Maya Rudolph will return to NBC on May 19th for a late-night variety show speciall called The Maya Rudolph Show, and if things go well, it could lead to a more permanent position.  Also, someone thought it'd be a good idea to make Mrs. Doubtfire 2 — namely, star Robin Williams and director Chris Columbus.  If Madea shows up in this, I'mma be upset.
  • In the Gaming Guide:  Remember that update for the PS4 exclusive Infamous: Second Son we talked about?  It's out today, and it also includes a photo mode to create your own sweet screenshots.  Speaking of, yesterday, the guys at Rocksteady released new screenshots for Batman: Arkham Knight, which you can see HERE.  It's out later this year.
  • Finally, it's Because Of Course:  A guy recently got 18 months in prison for taking a leak on the Alamo — yes, THE Alamo.  Also, a British man is so upset by the image of Kim Kardashian that he becomes physically ill (nobody tell Kanye!), and the total idiot who thought it would be cute to put a backpack containing a pressure cooker near the Boston marathon finish line (you know, like what happened when a BUNCH OF PEOPLE WERE HURT AND/OR KILLED?) is now claiming that it was "performance art."  Because of-%&^*ing-course it was.

Everything else is at!  'Til Friday…

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The FIX — 4/16/14

  • It's National Bookmobile Day, which means someone thought it was important to have National Bookmobile Day somewhere.
  • In music news, conflicting reports are suggesting that AC/DC is calling it quits.  Confusion over an ill band member and an upcoming recording session in Vancouver have led to rampant rumors, but for now, nothing is official from the band.  Meanwhile, Dave Grohl's hometown of Richmond, Virginia wants a Foo Fighters show so badly that they've begun selling 1,400 $50 tickets for something that isn't even booked yet, and 90's rockers Veruca Salt will head back out on tour this summer for the first time in years.
  • Tweet of the Day goes to Miley Cyrus (@MileyCyrus), but it's more like one of those awards you DON'T want to win, in this case:  "Hospital TV is waccccckkkk!!! #wherestheappletv", in reference to her recent hospitalization.  Worry more about why you're there, kiddo.  Meanwhile, she (of course) was trending last night, as well as X-Men after the release of the final trailer for Days of Future Past.  You decide which is weirder:  Miley or mutants?
  • In the Screening Room:  For a guy who's "straight outta Compton," Ice Cube is awfully fussy about not winning an MTV Movie Award for Ride Along.  The "Best On-Screen Duo" Award instead went to Paul Walker and Vin Diesel for Fast 6, and yes, Cube went there:  "We was robbed.  They should have given it to him before he passed away."  Of course, he later went on Twitter to say he didn't mean it like that and, "don't believe the hype."  Don't start nothin', won't be nothin', Cube.  Meanwhile, for the first time since his announcement as Dave's replacement next year post-retirement, Stephen Colbert will guest on The Late Show with David Letterman next Tuesday night.  Should be fun!
  • In the Gaming Guide:  It's almost time for the Magic: The Gathering — Journey Into Nyx pre-release events, starting on the 22nd, so check out for more.  Also, there's some free Plants vs. Zombies:  Garden Warfare DLC out as of yesterday that Wild West-themed, and Call of Duty: Ghosts is getting a $3 DLC pack of Drill Sergeant Voices that include the classic R. Lee Ermey (from Full Metal Jacket) and…Snoop Dogg.  Yep.  Drop and gimme shizzle, bizzle!
  • Finally, Because Of Course:  a drunken Florida man ('natch) claimed to be a Royal Canadian Mountie at a powerboat race and was eventually revealed to, of course, NOT be one and taken into custody by the actual cops; Domino's is now offering a pizza variation that swaps out crust for their chicken bites; and a dog in New Jersey was just summoned for jury duty.  Because of course he was (a good boy, that is.)


Find more at!  'Til Thursdsay…

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